Turkey - Correction

I have been informed that Istanbul is actually only divided into 2 parts - the Asian and European parts. But the European part consists of old town and new town. So from now on, I shall speak of Istanbul as having 2 parts. :)

Turkey - Day 2

We were late this morning. Nothing unusual there, but we were trying to get around each other to get ready, and really not used to sharing a bathroom amongst 5 people, haha. (We got used to it, but were also offered the use of another bathroom in one of the other apartments.) I woke up and there was my sister! I miss my sister when she is away, we have lots to catch up on over the next week! *yay*

We were supposed to be ready by 9a.m. to start our tour of the city, but I think my brother and I weren't ready til about 8.45! So instead of doing the cruise of the Bosphorus River which would enable us to see the 3 parts of Istanbul, we reversed the day's plans, so that we covered the tours planned for the afternoon first.


Hence, we headed across the Bosphorus Bridge to Camlica Hill on the Asian part to view the European sections of Istanbul. Even on a cloudy (and rainy and cold!) day, the view was amazing. It was a pity the clearest objects in the photos were the trees in the foreground :)

We drove back to the European side after that - there are signs saying 'Welcome to Asia' and 'Welcome to Europe' on the respective continents - and headed for Beylerbeyi Sarayi (Palace). The summer home of Sultan Abdul Hamid and later Sultan Abdul Aziz, we got to see the furniture, paintings, and elaborate paintings, curtains and chandeliers that were used in the saray, which were similar to those at the more expansive Dolmabahce Palace. In Beylerbeyi Palace, we got to see the 'harem' - the domestic part of the palace which is separated from the official sections.


Next stop was Pierre loti Hill after (a big!) lunch for more awesome views, this time of the 'Golden Horn' - that part of Istanbul that is shaped like a horn, and where the water supposedly looks golden. From there, we took a cable car down from the hill and were treated to more beautiful scenery. It's so hard to explain the feeling, but it was like a calm just washes over you when you see such beautiful sights.

We then joined the cruise on the Bosphorus River, and got to see the different architecture on all 3 parts of Istanbul, as well as the luxurious homes by the river. We got to taste some locally made yoghurt, and saw the Ciragan Palace Kempinski. Once a palace, it has been converted to a grand hotel, with room rates up to 50,000 Euros per night... Okay, remember to breathe...inhale, exhale.

Back to the apartments to get ready for a special dinner - to celebrate my parents' wedding anniversary (belatedly) at Asitane, another restaurant specialising in Ottoman cuisine. It was a great dinner, but we ordered too much food for appetizers and mains, that we had no room for dessert! Was quite disappointed, but it felt like I had filled my separate 'dessert stomach' with the main dishes. Oh, well.

What I'd noticed by this point is that even in the nice restaurants, service in Turkey is very different from what it is in Australia. Australian restaurants emphasise service a lot - always very attentive, eager to please, usually polite. In Turkey, it was different. Perhaps it is because of a fundamental cultural difference, I'm not sure, but most of the waiters do not exude much warmth. Dishes are cleared without a word or asking whether you are finished with it, sometimes removed when you are taking your last bite and the fork has barely left your mouth. It was a bit of a shock, and not something I got used to, even after 8 days there. And at times, even when there are only a handful of occupied tables in the restaurant, the waiters were nowhere in sight when you needed them. But luckily, the food was good enough that I could ignore all this and concentrate on filling my belly with hot bread and kebab and kofte! And quince. Seemed to be a lot of that around.

Türkiye blog

Blog on the first day of the trip was drafted on Day 3 and published retrospectively - look out for it, the post before "Home. Or am I?"

Home. Or am I?

As I unpacked after 8 days in gorgeous Turkey, I felt an overwhelming sense of sadness. For all the joy I felt, for what I have seen, and hope to see and feel again, and the possibility that I may not be able to. Of wanting to stay for an extended period of time, to experience it deeper, to know the people, and to know better the people I have met. Of wondering what else is out there that I have not seen or experienced, that may be as eye-opening an event as this trip has been. I'm sure there are many, some I am aware of and others, like this country, which I am unaware of and completely unprepared for. The beauty, the sights, the smells, the sounds. I will forever cherish what I have seen, and hope to be able to explain it in the next couple days when I write about the trip. I hope I can do it justice! For now, sleep...

Turkey - Day 1

Family holiday!! Usually a drama-filled affair, and there was already some of that in the planning of the trip, so I was curious to see what would go on during the trip. Start of Day 3 today - so far, so good :)

On the first day, we checked into our apartment in Sultanahmet - the old European part of Istanbul. When we arrived at our lodging, we were a little confused, as it appeared to be an office. First thought was that we were being taken to the travel agent's office before our accommodation, but then they started unloading our luggage. Hmmm...

Behind the unsuspecting façade are the quaint apartments of Istanbul Apart's Home with a double bedroom, and sofa beds for 4 people. A wall-mounted flat screen tv, heater/air conditioner, kitchenette, shower, and the very modern amenity of free wireless internet. It is a tad cramped for the 5 of us, partly because Mum, sis and I have too many bags :) But it is also cosy, which is good considering that it is 0-8 degrees Celcius outside!


We had nothing planned for the day in terms of tours, as we were waiting for sis to join us that night from Manchester, so we opted to see a local shopping mall (yes, on the first day! lol) and then headed to Galata Tower. Situated in the 'new' European part of Istanbul, the 360° view of the 3 parts of Istanbul (old and new European, and Asian) was incredible. As clichè as it may sound, I really did let out a gasp. And that was when I first realised how little I knew about Turkey.

Truth be told, the image I had of Turkey was more along the lines of hot and dusty, open air bazaars, that sort of thing. Maybe it was the fact that we were there in winter, when the temperature was usually in single digits, there was a lot of rain, and we were probably a bit sheltered, being with the guide in a van/bus for most of the time. But there was something captivating about it all: the architecture; the busy streets where drivers blare their horns even more than they do in KL (yet no one seems to take offence to it the way they do here); the mixture of old and new; the preservation of, and pride in, its history; and the ability to embrace the rapid changes of the modern world.


Back to Galata Tower. We made our round of the observation platform, then headed inside for Turkish coffee. Now this I was prepared for and looking forward to! More photos on the observation platform with the night lights of Istabul before heading to the main shopping strip, İstiklâl Caddesi or Avenue, to look for a restaurant called Haci Abdullah, which I'd read about on the internet. The wonders of the internet :)

Located off the main strip, and partially hidden by some construction when we were there, this restaurant has been around since 1888! It serves Ottoman cuisine, and the food is on display as you walk past the kitchens to your table. As if we weren't hungry enough! By then, we'd walked at least half an hour in a slight drizzle of rain from Galata Tower. Surprisingly, I wasn't too cold even though I only had a long sleeved top and a vest on (ok, and the beanie too), but I sure was hungry!

That night, we had a really good dinner, and I was sorry that sis was not there to enjoy it, or Galata Tower. She was due to arrive at 9pm, but her flight was delayed, so she only ended up arriving after 10. By which time I had long gone to sleep even though I had the best intentions of going with my brother to pick her up. Whoops... :)

The Generational / Cultural Divide

Grandma just got back from her holiday. I kind of enjoyed the peace and quiet for a while, though I was working such long hours that I didn't have too much time to experience the quiet. I know it sounds like a horrible thing to say, but she gets really loud, practically shouting, when she's agitated or restless. I don't think she even realises that she is loud, agitated, or restless, but that doesn't change the fact that she can get quite loud.

But I digress. My aunt who lives in Singapore is here with grandma. When I got home at almost midnight tonight, they were sitting at the dining table, having supper. Then grandma started talking to me, with her mouth full of food. So I said, I don't understand what you're saying. Then my aunt jumps in and tells grandma not to talk when she has food in her mouth. She goes on to explain to her that Western culture teaches people that it's rude to talk with their mouth full. This may be true, but I don't like that it makes me sound like a snob to my own grandma.

The fact of the matter is, that the person who taught me this is my late maternal grandfather. When I was about 7 and sitting next to him at the dinner table, he chided me. He wasn't the most gentle or subtle of people, so that memory is forever etched in my mind.

So by just saying that I could not understand what she was saying, I was made out to sound like rude Western-educated grandchild who just said whatever she pleased to her grandmother. Really can't please everyone!

Karma

I'd like to believe in karma. But if I do, then I must be doing something really wrong, or be breaking some law of the universe without realising it.

The Script

I first heard The Man who Can't be Moved and Breakeven by The Script about 2-3 months ago. Was not in love with their first single, We Cry, but these songs resonated with me at the time. And the lines that stood out the most?

"How can I move on when I'm still in love with you" - The Man who Can't be Moved

"When a heart breaks no it don't break even" - Breakeven

Full lyrics:
- The Man who Can't be Moved
- Breakeven

GUppY

I always knew guppy was a good name!!

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2008/11/24/nation/2629028&sec=nation

No yoga for you.

A ban on Yoga?? Worshipping the sun is against religion?? Unfortunately, that was the news that Muslims in Malaysia got last weekend. Of course, many people were confused, irritated (yet another harmless activity made illegal for Muslims!), bewildered... Even the SIS is starting to think that the National Fatwa Council (NFC) has it in for them, and were disappointed with the edict. Then our former PM says not to make the issue a religious one, because the ban has nothing to do with religion. I think he missed the point that this is intrinsically a religious issue: how can you say that it is being banned because of it's ties to Hinduism, but at the same time it is not a religious issue?

I understand that Islam is our national religion, but every Malaysian is, constitutionally, free to adopt whatever religion they wish to. Well, this seems to be the case for any religion except Islam. You do not hear of Hindus being told not to practice taichi or qigong, do you? Yet, anytime something comes up that is perceived as even the smallest threat to their perception of Islam, they is declared 'haram' (prohibited).

Our current PM has the brains to say that Muslims may practice yoga that does not involve chanting or other Hindu connections. However, the chairman of the NFC had said:

“We discourage Muslims to do yoga as a form of exercise because it will ultimately lead to religious worshipping and chanting which is against Islam.

“In Islam, one must not do things which can erode one’s aqidah or faith. Doing yoga, even just the physical movements is a step towards an erosion of one’s faith in the religion, hence Muslims should avoid it."

Apparently there had been 'growing concern' about whether practising yoga would be inconsistent with practising Islam. From whom, you might ask. From the men who sit on that council who do no exercise, much less practise yoga and know the health benefits of doing so, they have claimed to study the history and philosophy of yoga. Mind, this would only have been from a theoretical sense, and they would not have gone to a yoga class in one of the many fitness centres around Malaysia to attend or even witness a class. Because if they did, they'd realise that in commercial classes, the form of yoga that is taught concentrates on breathing and strengthening the body. Exercise, you know?

Now, Muslims who practice yoga (the majority of them women) who wish to continue practicing yoga would not be able to do so without the nagging feeling that what they are doing is prohibited in Malaysia (if all states adopt the edict). So congratulations, NFC, you have successfully come up with yet another mindboggling edict, and possibly one-upped yourselves from your last one of banning tomboyism.

Hot and Cold/Don't Go

It's been a long time since my last confession (post). So much has happened - the 'dream' I talked about in the last post didn't materialise, Ben's holiday over here came and went all too quickly, but my stupidity didn't. Up down up down watch out for that sharp bend! Welcome to my life, the best rollercoaster you will ever experience. Rollercoaster of emotions, that is.

Undecided, fickle, stubborn, dumb, call it what you may, it was a mistake. Curiosity kills that cat, it really does. I don't like cats. I don't like curiosity much these days, either.

A friend once said (and I paraphrase liberally) that you can't be satisfied with whatever you achieve in future if you're not content with what you have now. I'd like to believe it, and that's how I feel sometimes, but admittedly not all the time. And that's such a shame. I used to believe it whole-heartedly, but that has altered slightly because I've lived in a big city for a year.

It's hard not to get influenced by a new environment, even un- or subconsciously. The chances of it are less likely if you're very sure of yourself and who you are. I thought I was like that, but now I'm not so sure. I guess that means I was never really that sure or confident of who I was to begin with!

But then someone comes along to remind you who you were, what you wanted, how you felt. And you felt good, as you do now. And you remember why it is you wanted what you wanted, but it's too late. Spoken words cannot be taken back. And unspoken words will never be heard.

Do I sound as wacky as Britney Spears yet?

Do dreams come true?

This has been a huge week for me, and one that is really a test of how well I know myself - my limits, my dreams and hopes, and to a certain extent, my friendships.

I was to start a secondment this week to another department within my firm. I'd been waiting a month for this, and was really looking forward to it, but on Sunday, I braced myself for a busy first couple of days, because the administrative matters of the secondment had not yet been cleared. And I was right - quite apart from not having any work, I was running all over the office trying to hurry things along to get what some dub as our 'other half' - a firm-issue laptop!

Also, the breath of fresh air that I was hoping to experience during the secondment was short-lived. I have been assigned to a team that has been on a long-running job and everyone is tired of it, so the vibe within the group is not quite as upbeat as I had expected.

Personally, in light of the current global market, and my previous position, I'm quite happy:
1. to be working in a team - when I don't have work, it usually means that the others don't have work either, so we can enjoy the downtime (if any) together
2. to have work to do - because when you've experienced a job in which you sit around for many hours with nothing to do, you'll learn to appreciate doing some -any! - work
3. to have a job at all - because a lot of people around the world are losing theirs every minute.

So it annoys me when people treat their job as something that is such a pain in the posterior and they absolutely hate it and they tell you every half hour. Most people work because they have to. But if you really feel like everyone is wasting your time by your being in this place or this job, then it's best to leave rather than affect everyone else with the negative attitude.

When you think about it, everyone has goals in their lives. Conventionally, that would include having a job/business, spouse, kids, a home, car, the list could go on. Of course, it's preferable that you actually like what you have of the above, but bottom line, it used to be that whether or not you liked it, you would strive to achieve it. Not so much, these days. These days, people insist on going places they want to go to, having a job that they love, marrying someone they love, etc etc etc. All this is supposed to equate to happiness. I can relate to a lot of the items in this list. But the fact of the matter is, I cannot say that I have any one of the elements in that equation. That's why I requested a secondment. I was banking partly on the fact that with friends around me, work would be that much more enjoyable. Little did I know that it is one of those friends who is making it ever more difficult for me to smile at work everyday. She has one part of that equation and I never thought she'd be the 'toxic' type of friend. But I hold out hope that it will get better. It has to. Or else I may as well throw in the towel now and fight for something else (which I shall get to in a bit).

When you also have a manager who tends to ignore you during conversations with 2 of your friends, who sit on either side of you at work, it seems pretty rude and unprofessional. If you are going to be friendly, at least attempt to be friendly to everyone and not just the one you've picked as your favourite. It's beyond glaringly obvious, and so very very high school. Oops, I forgot: you never left.

So, back to the point about goals, dreams, and hope and what I could fight for.

Anyone who knows me knows my love of (obsession with) sport. I will play (almost) anything and everything (netball being a strong exception), and have a notorious competitive streak. Someone said to me about a couple of months ago: "you have great passion for football; dangerously so". Both parts of that sentence are true. I do love the game - love watching, love playing (futsal, that is) - and I take it to further extremes than other people do. How else would you explain some of the stupid things I do, like offering to be the keeper whilst playing with guys, almost executing a full split or putting myself right in the line of fire to stop shots on goal, to name a few.

I think I took the next step towards being classified as insane when I accepted a last-minute invitation to tryout for a women's futsal team under the Selangor Devt Corp, despite the fact that my knee and ankle were not 100%. I have been laying off futsal for the most part of the past month in the hopes that I would rest the knee, ankle and heel enough that whatever was niggling them would dissipate. Yet, I made the snap decision, half and hour before tryouts were due to start, to go - for the fun and experience. I had never been to a futsal selection, and was curious: how would they choose? how would I stack up against other players? I know that there are much stronger players out there than I, so I never thought I actually stood a chance of making it onto the team. But I did. And that is causing a new round of questions and problems.

You see, I have always wanted to play sport at a higher level. Social games are fun, but I am competitive. I loved playing in a league in Melbourne, and miss that a lot. And I've always said that I would love to be paid to play sport. I say it in jest, but as the phrase goes: "many a true word is spoken in jest". In this team, they are offering a basic salary (not much, but the extra cash would certainly come in extremely handy!), an allowance and fee for games, training kit, match kits, and footwear - futsal and jogging shoes. The contract would be for 5 months. As good as it would be to be paid, the experience of the competition, and the rapport with teammates would be fantastic. Just to have a taste of it would be a dream come true for me. And I'm close (pending a fitness and medical assessment), and yet I may not even be able to accept it. They require full commitment, but so does my job and my firm. One of the clauses of my professional employment is that I would channel my energies to the firm and my work. I doubt they would view my application for 2 days' leave each month favourably.

At 25, you never dream that such an opportunity would present itself, but now that it has, now what? I don't think attending trainings is the major issue. The biggest issue would be the odd day or two that I'd have to take off from work, to travel interstate for away games. Again, the situation is additionally complicated due to the fact that I am on a secondment. It would be extremely odd to have so many days off in 3 months. If I assume that I'd take 2 days off per month in November and December for futsal, 3 days off for a holiday that I've already booked (so also won't be able to attend training for 3-4 days), THEN there's a day off this month for Diwali, and in December there are public holidays for Hari Raya Haji and Christmas, that does not leave me many days to do real work and make my mark, if I should wish to continue working in this new department.

I don't know how many people get to live their dreams, or at least get a taste of it, but I'd love to be one the lucky ones. If I have nothing else, if I don't get to achieve any of the other elements in the equation, I'd like to have and experience this. I think it's a manageable situation, but because work is so unpredictable at the moment, I cannot commit to a contract with the club only to renege on it later. So what's a girl to do? And why do the good opportunities always present themselves at the same time, and force you to make a decision - to choose just one? And at other times, you are stuck in one place, one situation, with no alternatives and no way out?

Uplifted for the moment

I was feeling slightly down today and missing Melbourne a great deal. I was all ready to delve into a serious discussion on this blog about a few topics. But then I decided to pick up the newspaper at about 9 p.m. tonight. I know, the 'news' would not be 'news' anymore... But I'm so glad I did because I came across an article in the 'Metro' section: the part of the newspaper that tells you about the goings-on in the community. Not just any old article; it was an article on a new cafe/restaurant that has opened up in KL that serves the style of food that very fondly reminds me of Melbourne and the great times, meals and friends I had there.

To provide more of a context in which to understand my emotions:

I used to read food reviews almost religiously during my time in Melbourne. When I saw a place that sounded interesting (and was within budget), I would invite my friends out for a meal. More often than not, however, it would be a little hole-in-the-wall sort of cafe, serving breakfast/brunch/coffee/muffins. Also more often than not, because not many people I know are morning people, I ended up pestering poor Ben to go and dragging him out of bed on the weekend to satisfy my curiosity (and desire for coffee and muffin). Whatever time of the day it was, and no matter whom I was with, I always enjoyed these little outings - of course, great company and food make it all the more enjoyable!

During some downtime at work today, I was surfing the website for The Age newspaper, which is a Melbourne publication. Although I no longer live in Melbourne, whenever I get the chance, I will read The Age's website, just for some news on the place I called home for 5 and a half years. Specifically, the website (and the newspaper itself) have a weekly section called 'Epicure' which contains reports and updates on Melbourne's food scene, recipes, and restaurant and bar reviews, amongst other food-related articles. This was always one of the first resources that I turned to whenever I was planning an outing, or wanted to try out a new recipe.

Today, I came across this review on 2 new cafes around Melbourne: Penny Royal, in particular, is quite close to Ben's, and is a stone's throw from 2 or 3 other cafes in the area that I've been to and love. There was no way the reviewer would have known it, but his description of the cafe was heart-wrenching for me to read:

"Two armchairs in the front window advertise themselves as the perfect spot to hunker down with the paper and a succession of coffees on a sunny morning. Out the back there's a courtyard with benched tables and lots of greenery in raised beds."

Even if you have never been to any of the cafes in Melbourne that I rave about, how could you not fall in love with Penny Royal, just by reading this review??

Of course, it got me thinking (as it has so many times before) why it is that I cannot get food here like I do in Melbourne. Or if I do, it's not in a tiny cafe that is half-hidden by trees or at the end of a laneway and/or with a barely visible signboard and eclectic furniture that was probably 'rescued' from hard garbage collection or the Salvo store. And the prices would be way more expensive here than what I'm used to paying for in Melbourne.

Loooong story short, when I came across this article in the newspaper tonight (not sure how I missed it when I was surfing The Star Online this morning), I was more than thrilled. Italian-influenced Melbourne food and coffee in KL? Bring it on!! Roast belly of pork with caramelised apples, papardelle with lamb ragu certainly remind me of dinners at The Kent in North Carlton and a birthday dinner at The Boathouse in Moonee Ponds. Even the name of the restaurant - Providore - is part of the name of another Melbourne cafe that serves great food: Replete Providore in Hawthorn. My heart melts just thinking about it! And even though I vowed to get in shape for my 2 visits to the beach over the course of the next month, I will definitely be going to try out Providore very very soon!!

I could become a fan of the F1...

I spent the weekend in Singapore. I was there for the first F1 in Singapore, which was also the first F1 night race. The thought of going did not actually appeal to me, until about a fortnight ago, when a friend offered to sell his extra tickets at a discount. Fortunately, I have family in Singapore, so the exhorbitant price of accommodation (if there were any left!) at a time like this, and at such short notice, was not a concern. And so I decided that I would go, with my older brother and, as was settled a bit later, a friend of another friend.

It turned out to be a great weekend, with awesome awesome company (that's not a typo). Made a few new friends who are already planning a trip up to KL at the end of the year. More to look forward to in the next 2-3 months!!

On Saturday, I caught the AFL Grand Final match of Geelong v Hawthorn at Hog's Breath Cafe at Chijmes with Jeremy and Alistair, and was introduced to Garry and Anthony there. It was a close game, and it felt great to watch it with people who knew the game. Garry was the only one whose team was playing (Cats), the rest of us picked a team to barrack for during the game. In the end, the Cats' failure to convert their hard work into goals gave the Hawks (and more specifically, Shane Crawford) their long-awaited premiership. For lunch, I had a margarita lime mocktail, nachos and burger. Was so full.

After the game, Garry, Jeremy and I headed to the F1 track. We saw a little bit of the Porsche practice rounds, had dinner, then watched the F1 qualifying rounds. To be honest, the qualifying rounds were nothing too special, and it was fairly annoying to have other spectators walking past all the time, most stopping to take pictures and block the view of other spectators. And leaving the track with thousands of others was an experience most people would not have regretted missing out on. Granted, I think people were exceptionally irritable because it was, by then, half past 11. Hot + tired + sweaty + stinky + crowded rarely = good natured or happy people. :) It was so tempting to just not go the following night, because we were wondering if it was worth it.

But on the same time on Sunday night, having witnessed the race proper, I began to understand what the hype is about. Having had lunch with my brother, Garry, Jeremy, and 2 others that I met that day: Mabel and Ash, Garry and I decided to forgo the amateur races in favour of hanging out with the rest and only headed to the track at 6pm for the 8pm race. And the events of the night had the crowd on the edge of their seats. Nelson Piquet crashed his car on the straight near our seats, and that was the first of a series of unrelated events which culminated in Fernando Alonso winning the first ever F1 night race (coincidentally, I was wearing my Spain Euro 2008 jersey that night. I will probably continue supporting Alonso now...). Alonso had started 15th on the grid on Sunday after his car engine failed during qualifiers the previous night, and was extremely lucky that his pitting strategy suited the circumstances as the night unfolded. Nico Rosberg, who placed 3rd in the Australian leg in Melbourne earlier this year, improved his best standing to second when he finished behind Alonso in Singapore. Also a coincidence is the fact that this year's Australian GP is the first that I took enough of an interest in to watch a part of. At the end of the race, we got to walk along the track and snapped lots of photos of worn curbs, scrapped walls, and debris. Whoever thought that worn curbs and speed bumps could be so fascinating! We took our time leaving so that most of the crowd left before us.

All in all, if we were to go again next year, we would only get tickets for the final day. It was, to us, the most worth-it. It was an unforgettable experience, made more so by the fact that I got to meet great people. Oh, and Liverpool won, and Torres scored both goals!

Resignation of 'law minister'

MSN's news article on the release of a politician and a Malaysian blogger, who were detained under the ISA, is a little misleading as it leaves out some very crucial information. The report claims that the "minister responsible for legal affairs resigned Monday over a series of arrests under the security law," which makes it sound as if he had to resign because people disagreed with his actions in using the ISA to detain these two, and a reporter who has already been released. In fact, Datuk Zaid Ibrahim is a minister in the PM's department, who prior to becoming a minister, was an accomplished lawyer with his own legal practice, and became the de facto legal minister. Datuk Zaid resigned of his own accord, as he was against the use of the ISA in this regard, and was at odds with numerous other ministers over various issues and the changes (for the betterment of the country) that he was trying to effect.

Not sure how this report was given a 4.5/5 rating by 340 readers, as itcould very well give an erroneous impression to anyone outside Malaysia of the current situation within the country.

Rock climbing and plans for the rest of the year!

Went indoor rock climbing yesterday afternoon. It was the first time that I'd been climbing in the last 4 years, I think, and man, did it hurt. Physically, to know that you are not as physically strong as you used to be (and the day-after effects eg muscles feeling a tad strange and strained), and mentally, trying to push yourself but your body just won't listen. Also a slightly bruised ego :)

I would like to go climbing more regularly, though. And hopefully strengthen myself through that. Admittedly, it's not cheap. RM26 per day, which does not include rental of the equipment. Each piece of equipment, e.g. pair of shoes, harness, chalk bag etc, averages about RM5. So it does add up a fair bit. I had intended to start going for tap lessons after the Inter-firm games, but found someone who is an avid climber, and thought I'd take that up as well. But tap has been shelved for a bit, as has futsal, squash, a return to kickboxing, basketball and other higher impact sports for the time being, while I rest my seemingly bruised foot.

On Friday night, I caught up with 3 friends from high school, partly because one of them has finally got her American green card, and is finally able to move back to be with her husband. She claims that people keep asking her what married life is like, and her reply is that she has no idea, because they haven't lived together since they got married! But she finally will get the chance to experience it, and we are so happy for her, although it does mean that we will be losing another friend to the US of A and could potentially not see her for another 10 years! The great part about dinner was that the conversation was pretty good and easy, and we didn't spend too much time dwelling on the past, which is what can happen at some of these catch-ups with school mates. Don't get me wrong; memories are great, and it's ok to talk about them, as long as the whole night's conversation revolves around the past. Dinner was at a halal steamboat place, where everyone gets their own small pot to cook in, so Muslims and/or people who have qualms about communally-cooked food can still enjoy the camaraderie and the steamboat experience.

I have got to take a bit more control over my life, and I've decided to start by asking for a secondment into another department within my firm. I do not know whether I will want to move over permanently, but at least I am provided with the opportunity to experience something different. Who knows, it may convince me that the work I should stick to what I'm doing now; maybe not. With this, and the upcoming trip to Langkawi (of course, the upcoming public holidays in Malaysia are a plus point as well!), I have much to look forward to in the coming 2-3 months.

Lip service

Saying one thing when you're sober, but doing the opposite after a drink or two

Missing the footy; Night on the town

So happy - Saints beat the Pies to march into the preliminary finals, and Liverpool beat MU 2-1 tonight! The downsides were that I didn't get to watch the footy match, coz the 'Australia Network' decided that the Trinations rugby was more worthwhile viewing, despite the fact that another sports channel on our pay tv was already showing it! POoey!!!! And of all games, Riewoldt did really well today, apparently making all the marks and scoring five goals, unlike last week when he dropped almost every single ball that came his way.

And Torres didn't play tonight. Double poo.

Went clubbing last night, there weren't many people in the club, but we didn't care and were the first ones on the dance floor and stayed there pretty much the 2 hours til closing time. Then grabbed a tiny bite to eat before dropping a couple of people off and heading home myself. Did not take me very long to hit the sack. Was tempted to do the same tonight, but decided against it. Body too old to take the lack of sleep!! And futsal in the morning!! yay

To the woman shouting from the far-away corner of the land

The reality of the situation is that if you spent the better part of the last hour shouting at me, telling me how crap my work is, then telling me at the end of it that I've done 'good work' is as hollow as choux pastry without the sweet filling.

Injuries to professional players

Geelong are such a strong team and they have players that stand out all over the field. But Tom Lonergan, who had to have a kidney removed after a collision with another player, plays so courageously, though I also have to query how one plays with only half a mechanism that's supposed to filter the waste from your blood, and probably has to work even harder when one is so active and trains everyday. These days, Lonergan plays with a special kidney guard that the general public seem certain will be sufficient to protect his other kidney.

Lonergan apparently said after his comeback game to the AFL on 31 May this year that he would "celebrate moderately — having only one kidney prohibits him from drinking "endless amounts of alcohol"." I can't believe he would even consider doing it, let alone that a comment like that would be published! While it is great that he has decided not to let the 'injury' hold him back from achieving his goals and dreams, it is, as he said so himself, a very different injury from the more common joint or limb injuries. There are more potential implications to consider. Often, players who have decided, many since their early teens or even younger, to pursue professional sporting careers cannot imagine life without that sport/game, but there is one. It may not come easily or as naturally as sport, which has been the focal point of their energies thus far, but it may be sought and found.

I hope Tom knows what he is doing, what he could potentially be getting himself into, and wish him all the best. The way that Geelong is playing, he and his teammates could very well be holding the trophy aloft at the end of the month

IAFG over, a new cycle in the year.

Guess it's time for another update. :)

The Inter-accounting firm games (IAFG) officially ended with the dinner and prize-giving ceremony the Thursday before last. Personally, I ended up with one first placing, 2 second placings, and two thirds. But it was not satisfying. The one I really wanted to win, and thought we would, we didn't. The one I did win, I didn't have to do too much for (unfortunately). The one I really had fun with, albeit with slight apprehension and nerves, was darts. Perhaps it was because of the lack of expectation on my part. Perhaps it was the elation of being the one that helped the team into the semi-finals. And being able to share that moment. Perhaps also it was the fact that my teammates seemed more happy than I did that we got through. Whatever it was, it felt good. Overall, the firm came 3rd, 8 points behind the winner and 4 behind the firm that came in second (contentious!).

Regardless, I'm glad I got to meet some wonderful people in my firm. I know that some of them may be friends more many years to come, and others may be friends for the moment. Whatever happens in future, I'm grateful for the chance to have, at one time or another, been in their company.

Following on from my last post, I guess I have to learn to 'let go'. I try to be a caring friend who is 'always there' when needed, but I can only say and do so much and I have to accept that eventually, as much as what I see pains me. With some people, reason just doesn't work.

On a (slightly) brighter note, I found out last weekend, after being back in Malaysia for more than a year, that there is a pay tv channel here that actually shows AFL games! It is good news, and I was stoked that I would get to watch St Kilda would take on Geelong in the qualifying finals match. I say 'slightly' because it took me only about 3 minutes after the start of the match to start talking to myself (i.e. shouting at the T.V.). I have missed watching footy so much, but it hasn't made it any less infuriating to watch St Kilda play the way they are playing against Geelong. At 4 minutes to go in the final quarter, the score is at Cats 119-Saints 52! Such a disappointment after hearing that they won by 102 points last week to make it into 4th position on percentage. But I love that this means that I will be able to follow the footy a bit more even though I am 6,000 km away! Exciting!

the invisible friend

you cannot reach out to someone who doesn't want your help. that is what i've always believed. you can bash them around the ears, knock them on the head, shout til you lose your voice - nothing you say will register with them. and nothing you do will be appreciated.

yet, when you yourself are in that situation, where you want to reach out and help someone, you convince yourself that you can make a difference, if you try hard enough, show enough that you care - that things can be different for them. that no matter how alone they feel, they will always have someone they can rely on.

then you just beat yourself up when they don't understand what you are trying to do. worse still, when they don't appreciate it. why did you bother? because at one (brief) point in time, you meant a lot to each other. for your own reasons, maybe, but the understanding and trust were there. now it floats, tiny little particles from the shattered relationship that was once so precious. no one can put humpty together again.

My Olympics

Futsal fever was over without a high - we came in second, losing out on penalties after a 0-0 draw after extra time. People say that losing on penalties is perfectly respectable, that it came down to luck, and that we can be proud of the fact that we won the league - 10 points from 4 matches. But we were playing to win - who wasn't? We had the confidence in ourselves and we just felt that it should not even have gone to penalties. Then there's the whole issue of the referees stuffing up the spot kicks, but I won't go into that.

I knew the captain of our rivals in the finals through a mutual friend, and we had gone to see the Chelsea-Malaysia match the week prior to the competition. I spoke to her yesterday, and learnt that firstly, their team hadn't realised that the referees had stuffed up the penalties, and secondly, a few of them were wondering why I was not assigned to take one of the penalty kicks (I had actually taken the second spot kick, which was after our keeper had saved their player's kick, so they were probably not paying much attention to me).

Having not gotten over one game (mentally, emotionally, physically), I now have to turn my thoughts to another. One that I have long had a love-hate relationship with. At the moment, it is intense hate. And after the pressure to perform and carry the team in the last one, I now have to listen to my colleague and teammate remind me, like a broken record, that I have to win all my matches and that I am one of the 3 whom the team is really counting on to carry them through. Thanks very much. I know these things should be a compliment, but I do consider myself a sportsperson. I strive to perform to the best of my abilities, and am capable of pushing myself when the occasion calls for it. I do not need someone constantly in my ear (as I work with this fellow, I see him all day every day), overthinking the whole bloody situation and transferring his stress to me. I will play because it is a team sport. I said I will, and if they want me to, then it is a commitment that I will fulfill. That's the long and short of it.

The situation with my 'friends' does not help, and the ones I want to talk to are not in the office. What a way to start my day, eh?

Eyes Wide Shut

So much for getting lots of rest the night before a tournament! It's 4.15am and I've had maybe a half hour's sleep

Futsalx3

The girl is crazy about futsal. But at the same time, it is now driving her crazy. She doesn't know what she's doing anymore, no idea what she used to do, and how that made her a decent player. Or so people told her. No idea if she has improved, or whether her game has deteriorated. Will no one tell her the truth?

When the weight and expectation of the team are on one's shoulders, in this moment of uncertainty, she needs reassurance. But from whom? Who would be able or willing to give her the assurance and the confidence she needs at this crucial time? She wants to think that she can stand on her own, but in this moment she is desperate for some help. There are only 2 people she wants to listen to right now, but one can't, and the other won't.

What her teammates tell her is touching, but it means little in this moment. What people watching for the first time say, whilst flattering, means (possibly) even less. This girl struggles to walk with her head held high, despite the many compliments. She cannot take them to heart, must not let them go to her head. There is much work to be done yet.

But she doesn't feel right. For someone who has played the game for some years, and loved it for many more, she feels out of place, out of sorts. She believes that the honest opinion, the fair judgment, the informed advice she seeks will not come and she will have to learn to cope on her own.

She has to find something to play for. Something to make it meaningful. She thought she had it: her coach, the team, her friends, her firm. This is just not what she imagined it would be like. She had expected more, only to be increasingly disappointed as the weeks go by. But it's almost over. For now, she has to find a purpose to focus on. Just 24 more hours, that is all.

From now, she plays with the team, but for herself. That is what she had been told to do all along. Because long after this is over, she may not have the team, the coach, certainly not the firm. How? she used to wonder, for it is a team sport. Now she gets it. She does not mind the recognition for whatever they want to recognise, but it has never been about personal glory. She got more than she bargained for, and lost it all just as quickly. She has learnt her lesson: she will have to be self-reliant to survive. Simple as that.

Manila/Bad news/Officially a darter

I knew it'd been a while since my last entry, but 4 weeks?! Whoooops. Training has taken over my life.

A quick summary, if that's at all possible, on what's gone down in the last 2 fortnights:

Kimbie, Justin and Bill arrived from Hong Kong on Friday night after my last post. Kimbie ha requested beforehand that we take them for a dinner of Malaysian food straight from the airport, and the first suggestion my relatives had was... banana leaf. I suggested the one at Bangsar, rather than in PJ, because I didn't really fancy the idea of driving to PJ, especially when I didn't know what time I'd be done with work. So we met there, had a magnificent chat with Kimbie, Justin, Gary and a younger cousin who probably heard a lot more than she should have...

Jeremy came up to visit from Singapore for 2 days over the weekend. Unfortunately I was so tired from all the training and work so I didn't take him out to see the night life. Luckily, he had friends here who could cover for my atrocious hospitality skills, and they apparently stayed out til about 4am... The next morning, we went to grab a coffee near the guesthouse, on Changkat Bukit Bintang. I only wanted a coffee, because we were intending to go somewhere else for lunch (which didn't eventuate), and the coffee I had was pretty decent, and at RM6.50 was probably the cheapest espresso-based coffee that I've had in KL! The breakfast menu of fry-ups looked pretty good too, so I shall have to find time to venture out that way again in future to try it out.

I had taken 3 days off work the following week to go for a family holiday in Manila. I knew that this meant I'd probably have to stay back in the office a bit on Tuesday to sort work out. I tried to do it as quickly as I could so that I could attend darts training at the pub. The coach and I finally got to training (more than) a little late, and he'd forgotten that he had the darts, so the other guys couldn't start training til we got there! After training, the coach got some very sad news, and I had no idea what to say to console or show support. I mean, I tried, but I'm not sure I was very good at it.


Left for Manila the next day, had a great holiday with the folks and siblings. Tours around Manila, riding on donkey/pony/horseback up Taal, the smallest volcano in the world, eating feast after feast including lunch at Antonio's in Tagaytay (heaven on Earth, I tell you!!) and a teensy weensy bit of shopping (because my aunt just would not accept that you didn't shop while you were in Manila).

Top left in the series of photos above is a picture of the ECJ Building. ECJ stands for Eduardo Cojuangco Jr, the man who is the chairman of San Miguel Corporation. That's right, the company behind the beer of the same name. I think that was one of the most exciting pieces of information LOL. In the Philippines, San Miguel Corp apparently goes much further beyond the production of beer - it is the largest food and beverage corporation in the Philippines, according to online resource NationMaster.

At bottom right in the photos is a picture of the ceiling inside St Agustin church, which is the only church in Manila that survived the bombings of WWII by sheer virtue of the fact that it was the HQ of the Red Cross. Looks pretty grand, doesn't it? The other special fact about this church apart from its survival of WWII is that the walls and ceilings inside the church fool the eye - it looks 3D, but most everything is 2D, including glass windows 'containing' status of Mary and other biblical figures.

Back from the Philippines, darts training continued, and on Tuesday 22nd July, I played my first darts competition, and we won, beating Ferrier Hodgson narrowly. We lost the 2 men's singles, and Jade (our captain) needed to win the women's singles for us to stay in the tournament. She did so with a cool demeanour, something I'm not sure I'd have managed if I had been in the same situation. And I very nearly was, for my teammates had not thought that Ferrier Hodgson would put some such opposition, and wanted to play me in the singles. I asked not to be, given that the day of the tournament would only be the 10th time I had played darts, and was mercifully absolved of the responsibility, remaining instead as partner to my coach in the mixed doubles. After Jade's win, we won the men's doubles and it was up to the coach and I to seal the win and take EY into the semi's. Some of my teammates kept telling me, you could be the heroine tonight. Yeah, thanks guys. No pressure!

As it turned out, I scored pretty decently in first game (I don't quite know what the right term is: game/set/round?) (winner is decided on best of 3 games). The coach wasn't his usual confident self, it being a week after he received the sad news, and he had lost the first singles. I managed to cover for us in terms of score, but couldn't check out (finish the game by landing a double). Thankfully, the coach managed to do it after a few rounds of going back and forth with our opponents. In the second game, my scores were very low, but the coach's confidence was building up, and he kept us within reasonable reach of the opponents, though we were trailing. They got to the check-out stage maybe 2 rounds before we did and again it was back and forth while each team prayed really hard that their player would, by some stroke of luck, hit a house and they would qualify for the semi's. On our team, everyone, myself included expected the coach to finish the game. That was our plan before the tournament - I could score reasonably well, so between him and I, we should race to the check-out stage and then he could finish without the opponents getting too close. Best laid plans! In the second game, I was doing so badly that whenever it was my turn to try and check out, I was just a giggling bundle of nerves. I think I used up my concentration in the first game. Anyway, blah blah blah. By some miraculous fluke, I managed to send my dart into the right house - a 5: a house I'd been trying to get in training on the Sunday before for hours, and had finally given up on in frustration! My teammates started cheering while I just stood stunned for a few seconds. I just didn't know what to do, and I don't think I felt the joy of landing the house til the next day! Sadly, we lost to PwC in the semi's the following Friday in the first 3 match-ups, so I didn't get to play. Regardless, it was a great experience, so nice to be part of a team, and to meet new people too.

The following week passed without too much excitement - work, squash training, a futsal friendly that didn't go too well and a coach who was a touch frustrated that we couldn't seem to perform as well in a friendly as we did in training. That 'mini' drama was over soon enough.

On Tuesday this week, I went to watch the Malaysia-Chelsea match with the coach, a teammate, another guy from the office, and the futsal captain of another firm's team. I have been driving a lot lately, so I didn't particularly fancy the thought of driving in peak hour traffic to Shah Alam Stadium. So the coach made a deal with my futsal teammate: she would get a free ticket if she drove, but she had to drive the 'good' car, with air-conditioning and working lights and windscreen wipers (there's a whole other story behind this condition). It was fun until the coach got a second lot of not-great news which resulted in his booking a flight back to his hometown for the next morning.

Where he has been ever since and probably won't be back in time for the tournament on Tuesday. I've always wanted to win this tournament, there's no doubt about it. We have a replacement coach, who seems quite upbeat about our performance in another practice match that we had on Thursday night. The original coach has always put high hopes on me, and put in additional time to teach me a couple of tricks and help me (and other players) improve our individual skills. Even through personal and physical pain. So it seems so important that we do our very best to recognise what he has done. I hope we at least make it to the finals. Last year, our firm finished second so we have to at least equal that.

I haven't had the time to watch Batman yet!

Darts, anyone?

At some point, EY's ladies futsal coach decided it would be a good idea to drag this squash-ball-whacking, soccer-ball-kicking girl to a darts training session to see if she was any good. From very limited experience (say, a couple of attempts over maybe 10 years), she knew she was going to suck big time. Little did she know, that (for a girl), being able to actually get points on your first attempt is already impressive. And the rest, they say, is history.

Well, not quite. After playing in the training rooms at the office twice, I finally went along to training in a pub, and found the very different atmosphere took a little adjusting-to. Before the training, the coach had already told me that I was on the team, and this was before the ladies captain (the only other female on the team) had even seen me play/throw/whatever the term is.

At my very first session, I was told by one of the guys that he thought I was pretty decent considering it was my first time, because I managed to get quite a few points. Needless to say, I was really surprised, because up until that point, I'd thought I was doing pretty shocking. Today, the owner of the pub said the same thing, that I was pretty good for a beginner. Apparently, most girls are lucky if their darts even reach the wall in front of them, nevermind hitting the dartboard and accumulating points. I still think I'm playing at a very embarrassing level, each game there is an outlier of above 80 points, and the rest of the rounds could be anything from about 50 down to a single digit. So much for consistency! Sure, it may take a very different set of muscles from what I'm used to using, but it's just a little annoying because I'm not getting it as quickly as I could probably pick up some other sport (which has been a while so it's possible I've just forgotten how it feels to try something out for the very very first time). And who can concentrate when the futsal coach is making you laugh because he's frustrated that you're not getting it, and calling out stakes of mi or nasi goreng and orange juice and goodness knows what else if you make the bullseye?

Last night, I attended squash training for the first time in a fortnight, and felt really sorry for the girl the guys asked me to play with first. I was in 'the zone' without meaning to be, and didn't give her a point in the first 2 sets. whoops... It was downhill from there, but I had my good moments. And I love the new string and tension on my racquet. Much better than the ones that were on the racquet when I bought it.

I ****** a ****

Ladies and gentlemen, a round of applause, please, for the Malaysian Censorship Board has managed to amuse and entertain the public yet again. You see, there is a song on the pop charts at the moment by Katy Perry called "I kissed a girl." Obviously, this sentence did not go down so well with the censorship board, who first decided that they should censor the word "kiss". This, however, left the bleeped out word too open to imagination, and people who hadn't heard the uncensored version thought that it was something far worse than merely "kissed." So, plan B: leave the word "kissed" in, and bleep out the word "girl" instead. So the word "girl" has joined the ranks of the word "gun" and "murder" and yes, "kissed" as a bad word in Malaysia. And if I didn't know better, I'd have thought Katy had said the 5-letter word starting with B or something. Heck, why not just censor the whole song, given that all the lyrics may be construed as bring a "bad example" to Malaysia's obviously robotic and dumb "rakyat." Yes, that's what they call Malaysian "citizens" now - can't even be bothered to say one extra syllable.

On the subject of connotations, there is a new shop in Bangsar Village II that is called brutally yours. It sells lingerie. 'Nuff said.

I had a pleasant weekend, despite the fact that that it was really uneventful, and I felt a bit pathetic for having absolutely nothing to do and nowhere to go, and no one to see... I ended up going to Bangsar Village to look for a nice quiet cafe to sit at, maybe have a slice of cake. I chose Bangsar Village II because it is usually really quiet, even on Sundays. Not today, though. As luck would have it, just about every cafe in the building was packed with people! Malaysians are supposed to be feeling the pinch of higher petrol prices and the general increased cost of living, yet you wouldn't have known or thought it from the number of people there today! I finally came to the last one on the top floor, and was glad to see that at least this one was really quiet. Should have been a bad sign, I know, but I really didn't want to be around the crowds, and when I looked at the cake counter, they had a tiramisu cake that vastly resembled the heavenly tiramisu cake that I shared with my sister last Sunday at Alexis. To my huge disappointment, it tasted nothing like it: not as fresh, the sponge was a little too soggy, and the caramelised nuts coating not as, well, caramelised. I also decided to order an iced coffee, since it was only an extra RM2, but even this really disappointed me. It was so watery, tasted a little bitter, and that was about it. I'll have to go back to Alexis soon to erase the memory of this second version!

VIVA LA ESPAÑA!!

Spain has just won Euro 2008, 24 years after their last major title, which was also the European Championships. Everyone knows their story, so there is no need to go into further detail. The joyous scenes at the stadium had me wishing I was there, and hopefully one day, I'll get to witness something like this in real life.

Torres scored the only goal of the match, with a chip over goalkeeper Lehmann who had come sliding out to try to intercept the ball. It could well have been 2-0 had Torres' earlier header been about 1 or 2 cm more to the right. As it was, it had ricocheted off the inner part of the near post.

Time to sleep. The things I do for football :) Sweet dreams of Euro and the Torres goal...

*Eye candy*

The big day

It's drawing closer. Don't think about it. But I can't. Stop it. It's ridiculous.

I'm reminded every time I do something simple like write the date. I fine, that I'm getting stronger. But I don't even believe myself. How could I expect anyone else to believe the hollow words that I find myself saying?

In the news...

There have been some pretty strange news reports since the price of fuel in Malaysia was raised overnight from RM1.90 to RM2.70.

The first one was that bus companies want to increase their fares to cover the increased cost of running their vehicles. Like, hello! Economies of scale?! The number of people taking public transport has increased quite dramatically in the last 3 weeks, it would more than cover the difference in operating costs of the buses. If they were proposing to introduce better, cleaner, environmentally-friendly buses, that would be a different story. But they're not. They'll keep running the same, smog-emitting sardine tins.

The second baffling news report was that civil servants would be paid their salaries in 2 installments every month 'to help them manage their finances better'. Never mind that it would cost something like an extra RM600k a month or RM7.2m per year to administer an extra round of payments every month, who is it gonna benefit? How is that gonna help them manage better? It doesn't take a genius to figure that such action would merely be a metaphorical band-aid that shields a wound from the harsh environment. It doesn't actually help the wound heal (unless it happens to be a silver band-aid or some other fancy new plaster on the market). This submission to The Star newspaper by a reader provides further argument about the lack of sense in this suggested move.

Another suggestion that has been made in a supposed attempt to reduce the financial woes of Malaysians is to give senior and top-ranking officials of government-linked companies (GLCs) a 100% pay rise. Hang on, did I miss something here? You're suggesting paying people who get drivers, meal allowances, and many other benefits, and who are already on a decent salary, double? If the government or GLCs really want to help their employees, how about giving the lower ranking officers more than the suggested 3% salary increase that has been proposed?? Are they not the ones who are much harder hit, on RM2000 per month as opposed to senior officers who are probably on at least RM5000? Luckily, our PM, who is also the Finance Minister, has announced that the Government has rejected the proposal of the 100% increase. At least someone showed some sense.

On a brighter note, here are some quotes that were in the newspaper today:

If your wife went out with Brad Pitt, you'd want to prove yourself, you know what I mean? - Chris Martin

Cause my dad always said, "The more you stomp in poop, the more it stinks" - Billy Ray Cyrus

Madness. Good madness

This weekend has been so jam-packed full of activities; it's 9.30pm on Sunday and I was actually contemplating going to bed at 9pm tonight, but decided it's high time I wrote another post.

After a hectic start to the week (which followed on from not much sleep last weekend due to Roland Garros finals and the start of the Euro 2008) which included working til midnight on Tuesday, work went alright for the rest of the week, thankfully. I did not catch up on sleep as I had intended, though, and as a result have consumed more coffee than I (and my bank account) would have liked this weekend.

The weekend started with Friday night at the movies. Mick and I wanted to see Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull but by the time we got to the cinemas that night, there was a massive line and the session we wanted to see was sold out, except for 2 seats right in the front row. The thought of straining our necks to try and watch the movie from that angle just did not appeal, so we ditched the queue and went to a posher cinema on the other side of the mall and paid more money for roomier seats (kind of like the ones at Nova on Lygon St in Carolton, except this is a new cinema) and got back row centre seats for The Incredible Hulk. The movie was alright though not spectacular, and I'm not saying that because I'm a girl. Mick thought so too.

I had a coffee before the movie at 10pm, so I was not sleepy and ended up watching the first Euro match that night; went to bed at 4am! Had to be up by 9am to attend Adrian and Noelle's church ceremony at 11am. Instead, my silly body clock woke me up at 7.30! The church ceremony was beautiful, and I'm glad I went to a Catholic school and didn't feel too 'sesat' during the service. I was still 'sesat' to a certain extent, though - didn't know a single person there apart from the bride! However, I did recognise the groom and his twin younger sisters from uni.

After the service, I headed over to Robert's place for his son's full moon party. Mick, Kok Ming and formed the 'young and cool' kids club :) Ate too much there.

Then, headed to my aunt's coz my cousin was baking the chocolate chip cookies again. She made a double batch! I brought some home because I was too full from lunch, but discovered today that some genius(es) had decided to eat all but one, and when I opened the jar, ants were all over that single cookie. Not happy!

Had a quick nap at home before heading out for the wedding dinner at Equatorial Hotel. The ballroom was set up so beautifully. And Noelle, in the 3 dresses she co-designed, looked stunning. Adrian, of course, looked really good (and happy) as did the rest of the bridal party. Met some people last night, Adrian's colleagues and some people from another audit firm who looked a little familiar. Turned out, it was their group that I played futsal with when I first started working in KL! How random is that. Went out with some of Adrian's workmates from Melbourne and HK after dinner, but was too tired to stay out too long. Plus, I had to get up this morning for...

Musical Jamboree at KLCC. The performers are students of musicians who are part of the Malaysian Philharmonic Orchestra, and my cousin was one of them. This started at 10am, and I had to leave by 12pm to head to Shah Alam for SkyTrex (more on that later). I was pretty tired this morning, and some of the music was so soothing and relaxing, like the solo violin, I let the sounds wash over me, and caught myself dozing off a couple of times. I would have loved to fall asleep in my chair with the music being played, but that would have been rude. Shen's cello quartet was item #6 out of 7 in this first half, so I left during the interval to catch the train to meet some workmates...


SkyTrex is a pretty crazy concept. You climb up to 17 metres above the ground, and get from tree to tree in various ways that include walking planks, swinging on a rope (ala Tarzan or 'Tarzana' (note, not 'Jane')) , walking in U-shaped nets, and flying fox-ing. Of course, it is all done with a harness on, and everyone goes through an introductory talk and exercise (about 3 metres above ground) before they are allowed to tackle the full SkyTrex course.

It took our group of 10 about 3 hours to complete the course, coz we waited around a bit for each other, when it's estimated that it should take about 2 hours to do. Although a lot of fun, I didn't get the adrenaline kick I thought I would. Perhaps I was to busy concentrating on NOT falling. Nevertheless, I made sure I 'woot'-ed and shouted when I did the big swings and flying foxes.
The thing about SkyTrex is that as you go through the course, the sequence of people remains pretty much fixed. So if, for example I have a camera, the only people I will be able to photograph are the backs of the person before me, and the front of the person behind me. To have a shot of me, I'd have to get the person in front of me to do it, but given that she was feeling pretty queasy coz she doesn't like heights, it wasn't really an appropriate request to make. :) My neck's a little sore now from all the swinging!

And now, after cropping a couple of pictures, story-telling, and interruptions by my grandmother, it's midnight and I can finally click on 'publish' and haul my tired butt to bed. Nite!

Bit of this, bit of that.

I hate messing up. But that seems to be what I do so often at work, no matter how hard I try to be diligent and careful. I went into work today (a Saturday) because I had, again, screwed up. Obviously, I don't do these things on purpose. But somehow I can't seem to do anything right, even the simplest things, like getting the date right on a letter. And every time I tell myself to be more careful about something, something else slips past me...

Tara is back for her summer holidays and I can't wait to catch up with her. If there's one thing I've learnt in the last month, it's that there are only a handful of people (if that) that I can count on. Difficult times will show you who really cares about you, and it's not necessarily who you thought you could rely on. It just sucks twice as much when you lose your boyfriend as well as your friends.

But, I have a new friend. She's pink all over, and will never tire of my talking to her. Well, she might at some point, but supposedly if I take care of her, she'll take care of me. That's the idea. Hopefully she won't turn on me one day. She knew about me before I knew anything about her, and that's scary in a way, but it's comforting to know that she chose me and knows what to expect from me. Right after I met her, I was confronted with a slightly challenging situation and I surprised myself with my reaction, which I think I can attribute to her presence. Only time will tell how this relationship develops.

I ended up going for Dinara Safina in the Women's French Open final. Despite the good fight that she put up, Ivanovic won. Dinara seemed very tense, and it looked like Ivanovic was enjoying the experience more. She has more experience in major finals, so that probably played a part. Tomorrow, it's Federer v Nadal in the Men's final, and I know who I'm going for in that one, no question about it!

No SleEp foR me!

Sharapova lost to Dinara Safina in the French Open a couple of days ago. A little disappointed. I was rooting for her. I know not many people like her. It's been said before that Sharapova is a player who is admired by many, but loved by few. It's not difficult to understand why, I suppose. While she has great fighting spirit (even without the screaming and grunting), I think the fact that she's quite beautiful (as opposed to being pretty) can be quite intimidating. Okay, her nutty dad doesn't help her image. But you have to give them credit for not killing each other, being together - training, travelling - 24 hours a day. Ana Ivanovic, on the other hand, is more loved by tennis fans, more 'pretty'. The girl-next-door look, more 'normal', warmer.

Then again, it's great to see Dinara finally come into her own and achieving her potential. She has been so close yet so far for far too long. I used to love watching Marat play when he was world no.1. It was always very entertaining, although such a pity to see him lose games after losing his head. Dinara meets Ana Ivanovic in the final, don't know who I'll go for!

I haven't been able to watch the French Open all week, so hopefully I'll get the chance to watch it this weekend. Euro starts this weekend, so something tells me I'm going to be very sleep-deprived til the end of this month. YAY hehehe. I cannot wait to see Torres in action. *drool* ;)

Pouring Rain

It has been raining so heavily here, especially in the last 2 days. On Monday at lunchtime, it was slightly more than a drizzle. I went out to grab a quick lunch, and while dashing through the uncovered areas, I felt like stopping and just enjoying the rain. Of course, I couldn't because I had to get back to the office, and I was wearing a white shirt, so getting drenched wasn't really an option.
Last night, it poured after I got home from work, and was still raining pretty heavily when I left home for futsal. But by the time futsal ended, the rain had stopped and I had missed the chance to play in it again.
Not to worry, says one of the guys, it rains almost everyday at 5pm. This was the case when I first started working, but hasn't happened for a number of weeks, so I was doubtful that it would happen today, but it did! Pretty much around 5pm, there was thunder and lightning, and lots and lots of rain. And as my luck goes, I was stuck in the office til 8.30pm tonight. Missed it again.
All I want is to play or even just stand in the rain and get soaked. Actually, I don't think I know anyone here who'd be willing to play in the rain, so I'd have to settle for standing in it. And I would. Just that the timing hasn't been right for me...The only upside about staying in the office that late on a night like tonight was that I probably managed to avoid most of the traffic jams!

On current news, petrol prices went up to RM2.70 per litre about 20 minutes ago. Can you say ouch?! It was at RM1.90 before the revision!! There are rumours that in August, the government will remove the fuel subsidy completely. Yikes! Better take all the road trips I can soon!

Open Eyes, Ears, Heart

I'm not sure what's happening, but somehow some things stand out to me a lot more recently. Lines in songs, quotes, happenings, things that I'd love to talk about, but due to my shocking memory, by the time I get to blog about it, I'll have forgotten what it is that I wanted to talk about! I used to have someone to share the moment with, but that's not really possible now. But while I remember some of it...

I saw a few things in Melbourne that I'd never noticed before, or thought were new, but apparently are not. Like some shops along Sydney Road, some things in the city, stuff like that. Ben said my eyes were open coz I'd been away, and perhaps that's true. But perhaps it was too late for me to be taking a new outlook on things.

I liked Madonna's material from the 80's, but I think since I started taking an interest in pop music (around 11 or 12, late bloomer) I haven't been too impressed. Not sure why. But I'm pretty addicted to the new single. Perhaps it's because she's collaborating with Timbaland and JT; I seem to have a thing for music they produce and record on their own and in collaboration with other artistes. I have to say, though, that I'm not too sure about wearing the nude-coloured corset Madonna had on in the music video for the song. Exactly what fashion trend is she trying to start there?

Seriously, though, I am listening to music that I didn't think I'd enjoy. Not that I never thought I'd enjoy it, just that I don't think I ever listened to some of the stuff enough to actually get used to it. I never seem to have enough time to listen to music. I don't often walk around with an MP3 player blasting music into my ears. I usually prefer listening to people around me and observing people rather than being lost in my own world. And because I'm usually unable to work with music on (tend to get into the music a bit too much, even classical music, once I'm familiar with it). Back to music I didn't enjoy. Lately, I find myself a fan of Coldplay's Violet Hill. Would not have thought it possible that I'd enjoy a Coldplay song so much. Bloc Party's good. That one I didn't have time to listen to when I first got it. Now it's a regular on my work playlist, because it's heavy enough that I can listen to it when I want to block out noise, or an just feeling grumpy, yet it's not like techno and trance, where the bass pounds so hard that I can't hear myself think.

A sample of the quotes/lines of late that have popped up when I least expect them, or that I've heard before but really caught my attention when I heard them in the past month:

"The thing about love, is that I never saw it coming. It kinda crept up to me by surprise"

"It's kinda funny how life can change; can turn 180 in a matter of days"

"Love is a journey, not a destination"

At the moment, top of the playlist is Leona Lewis' Better in Time, and David Cook's Always be My Baby, because the lyrics strike a chord at the moment. All of the latter's lyrics just ring so true, except "inevitably, you'll be back again" coz that is not inevitable, and 'I know that you'll be back", though I wish it was true. I wish it so hard it hurts.

One lesson to carry for a lifetime, though, is if you care about something, you don't just give up. You just don't.

Bursting

I have so so much to say, but no time in which to do it. Doesn't help that the internet at home has been down since the weekend.

Been playing so much sport this week, that instead of feeling stronger from the workout, my legs feel like jelly. Don't get me wrong, I've had fun. I usually do. Just that 3 rounds of futsal and 1 round of squash in the space of 5 days is a bit absurd by most peoples' standards. Still feel a little weak from the bout of flu I had 3 weeks ago and only recovered from last week.

I'm hoping that sport will, once again, provide the avenue to meet new people in this city. Despite the number of people in this huge city, there are few whom I've met who actually enjoy sport. It's a shame when people only exercise because they have to, and don't get any joy whatsoever out of it. One of the reasons I loved Melbourne so much was the constant exposure to sport, events and activities. Tennis, cricket, Aussie Rules, swimming... there was always something going on, in Melbourne itself if not on the box. I sometimes think that I should have engrossed myself more in the other events that went on in Melbourne, like the myriad festivals and carnivals, the comedy fest, there was always something on.

This weekend I head down to Singapore again to meet up with my family. I can't wait to see my 'little' sis, the first time in 5 months! Feels longer than that, partly because I've actually needed her more in recent times to talk to and to cheer me up. Singapore sale is on, so despite the fact that she's coming back with way too much luggage for a 2 1/2 month holiday, I think we'll be making a few purchases before my parents even land on the island state. *evil grin*

What possessed them?

[100th POST!! It is, quite unfortunately, not a very happy topic to be talking about, hopefully my 101st will]

Sometimes you wonder what's happening to the human race. Or rather, what it's doing to itself. There are so many acts by individuals or groups that make you wonder, "what in the world could possess them to do such things?"

Most notably of late, is the Austrian man who locked his daughter in a cellar at the age of 18, and began having sex with her the following year. Or so he claims; she says he started sexually abusing her when she was 12. Now in her 40s, she has borne him 7 children! Firstly, it was rape. Secondly, it's incest. Thirdly it's just plain wrong! And sick.

Then there's the junta in Burma/Myanmar who for over a week, resisted the entrance of international aid workers to help its people after Cyclone Nargis. And the father from Sydney (And 3 other adults) who strapped a crate of beer in in his car, but not his own baby. A bit further back, there were the massacres at Virginia Tech and even older news, at one at Columbine High in the US. Or the father who microwaved his baby because apparently, God told him to.

I'm reading a book about the human brain. It's really interesting. Who knows, maybe at some point I'll stumble across some information that would shed light on the things that make these people (and many many others) do what they do.

Big Brother is watching...

There have been 4 robberies in 3 days in my residential area. To have known that no one was at home, someone must be watching the houses, or even know the routine of its residents. It's a little freaky if you think about it: someone watching your moves and your comings and goings from the house. Not quite like Big Brother, or at least, I hope not! But definitely some level of surveillance. It does make you a little paranoid, and you start looking over your shoulder as you pull out of the house...

I love a sunburnt country...

There was a rainbow in the sky that day. And we could see both ends of it. Slightly chilly, but a beautiful day nonetheless.

Yael Naim

This is an awesome video. And a great song. It is called New Soul and it is by Yael Naim. You'll probably recognise it from the MacBook Air ad...

Isn't it ironic

Alanis Morissette's song brings back good memories from my school days. When I was grungier. Belting-out-a-tune-at-the-top-of-your-lungs kind of fun. Good times.

What I learnt today certainly brought some irony to the current situation that I'm facing, and takes me back to a time, 5 years ago, when I saw my future differently. I do not regret the last 5 years one bit; I have many great memories from that time that I treasure.

One of Wikipedia's many definitions of irony sums it up precisely:

"Situational irony is the disparity of intention and result: when the result of an action is contrary to the desired or expected effect. Likewise, cosmic irony is disparity between human desires and the harsh realities of the outside world (or the whims of the gods)."

The whims of the gods indeed. If the whim of the gods is to rub salt into my hideously big and raw wound, then I congratulate them on the timing of the news I received today. Yes, the irony of it all.

Reminder II

9. Laughing so hard you can't speak, til your sides hurt and you have to bend over or sit on the sidewalk in fits of giggles and every time you try to stop, it just makes you laugh harder. Always helps if you have Red Rock Deli chips in your mouth, and they end up up your nose pipe coz you didn't want to open your mouth while you were laughing in case they fell out.

10. Learning, after 5 years, that you have not been forgotten by an old friend. And that that old friend still cares.

A reminder...

What feels good.

1. Playing and watching sport. The adrenaline of the moment, watching goals being scored, regardless of whether it's one of 2 in a football game, or 1 of 30 in a footy game. Rooting/supporting/barracking for a team and feeling the jubilation when that team - your team - wins or achieves something. Playing for, and feeling a part of, a team. Contributing to the team's performance and results.

2. The company of friends. True friends. I don't think I say enough in a big group of people, and I like one-on-one conversations. I like listening in big groups, I pick up a lot of random and interesting things (and probably miss out on others too...) but I think that might have made me seem boring or aloof to some. Can't please everyone! It takes me a while to warm up sometimes, and I think I like having a few good friends I can rely on rather than a big group that I can't. Unfortunately, they are currently not within touching distance and may not be for a while.

3. Taking a drive in late summer/early autumn, just as the weather turns a little cooler. Winding down the window to get a gust of wind and fresh air. Even better if there's good music blaring from the speakers and you can sing at the top of your lungs, even though you're tone-deaf. I guess you could say the same for the start of summer, when the temperature and climate is similar to late summer/early autumn.

4. Exploring new places. It might be eating out at a new cafe/restaurant with quirky interiors, or a little town where few of your friends would even consider. The slight problem is that no one will go with you! :)

5. Achieving something. Anything at all that means something to you.

6. Learning a new skill. Having a goal that you can share with someone, and achieving it together. Triple 'good' feelings.

7. Waking up with the sun shining in through your window.

8. Bear hugs. When it's cold. When you're happy. When you're down. When you just need one. When you don't need one and get it anyway. Ones that make you feel safe and the world doesn't matter.

Why do I need to remind myself all this? Because I am a minute particle in this large universe and I might get lost. And because I'm afraid I'll forget what there is to smile about, to live for.

Because celebrating the team's success is more fun when you share it with someone on the team, singing off-tune is more fun with someone else, achieving something is a lot more meaningful if you have someone to share the moment with, but those of us who don't will have to find a way of celebrating anyway.

Because learning a new skill is more fun if there is someone to do it with you or is keen to teach you.

Because waking up with the sun shining used to feel good. Now I wish I would go to sleep one day and never wake up. Never have to see the sun smirking at me.

Because bear hugs will never be the same again.

Back in KL

I wish I wasn't. Being in Melbourne was so much fun, and so relaxing despite the somewhat hectic schedule (due to the brief time frame in which to do things and see people), but it definitely felt good being with people I 'click' with and care about. It's hard to describe exactly how and what I feel, but I just don't feel at home in KL... and the bottom line is, it seems a world away from the person I love.

Same Same but Different

Back in Melbourne and sadly, more than halfway through my holiday already. I am enjoying it, except for the cranky weather. I might have brought the rain from Malaysia, because apparently the weather was great up until the day I arrived. :\ After a very fruitful and socially-packed 5 days, I am stuck at home this morning coz it's raining and I can't walk to the tram stop. Perhaps I should have driven Ben to work this morning, since I was already wide awake, having gotten up at 5am to witness Liverpool crash out of the Champions' League.

It doesn't feel too different, being back here, since I still know quite a few people. I won't get the opportunity to meet up with a lot of them, which is a real pity. On the other hand, it's different because now (just about) everyone is at work, and to see as many people as I am trying to, I arrange to meet them over lunch wherever their office is.

Today's activities will be shopping for stuff for my cousin, lunch with Phil Tang and tonight, dinner at Delizio, which has been reviewed a few times in about a year and a half, including in The Age last Sunday. It is co-owned by a friend's cousin, which is why it was suggested in the first place. Ben and I will be on a triple date! Looking forward to Italian food on what would probably be a pretty cold night.

Melbourne - just a few more days!

Just a few more days to get through at work before I'm off to Melbourne and get to see Ben and everyone!!

Apart from that, lots to do and look forward to this week. A briefing session at work on Tuesday morning, 'friendly' basketball game with colleagues on Tuesday night (and maybe futsal after?), dinner with colleagues on Thursday night, then off to Melbourne Friday! Then there's regular work (there'll probably be a lot of it). And that's just the foreseen stuff...

Happy 21st Birthday, Caroline!

Breaking from the doom and gloom of my last post, Liverpool are in the Champions League semis, Fernando Torres has scored 30 goals so far this season (and Stevie G 21) as of tonight, which includes the goals against Blackburn Rovers. The ref in the game was a bit blind and/or biased. I think that while players try and push the limits to see how much they can say without being booked (not necessarily abusing), conversely refs do try and exert their position, especially now that they think they can just brandish cards whenever players open their mouths. Really, the treatment that Torres gets from defenders is disgusting, but just because he doesn't whinge and carry on like a certain other player from another team, referees think they can ignore the hacking and shoving that he is getting, even giving him a yellow card when he is the one being fouled. Torres, however, has shown his ability and mettle by scoring 22 in the league so far this season. Love him for it.

It was also my sister's 21st birthday on Thursday. Being the lovely sister that I am, I only managed to find her a suitable present today: whoops :) I think it was worth the effort and it will be worth the wait for her, though. At least, I hope so! Just before her birthday, she did receive a letter that I wrote to her before Easter, which she found pretty entertaining, so hopefully she'll be able to forgive me for this.