To the people in my life

Happyness.

I have never been the extremely happy type of person. I realise this may seem completely incomprehensible to some, but it's true. Of late, maybe in the last 6 months, I have been feeling more happy more often. People have seen it, but how can I say that that is the true measure of the person that I really am?

Fact is, I don't believe that any person can be so thoroughly happy that they do not experience low moments, days, or periods. They just may not talk about it or choose not to show it. But those times exist.

Personally, I prefer to show it once in a while. It may manifest in a myriad of ways; equally unpredictable is where and when. But I will not hide it all the time, because hey, that's what gives a person character, dimension. But most of the time, if I tell someone, it would be a person whom I would hope for feedback and support from, but most of all whom I am comfortable enough to confide in and trust.

So please. If I'm not on a constant high, at least know that I'm being honest. To you and to myself. I am more upbeat these days, on a more regular basis, and will make every effort to keep it that way. Try and understand that it is important (at least to me) that if I tell you the bad or sad stories, it's because I think you deserve to know what I really think - the 'real' me. Not the illusion, not the version with icing and ribbons and flowers. Or the doll with the fixed smile and no feelings. But the stripped back, heartfelt version. I hope you'll consider it a compliment rather than an insult.

[On the subject of unhappy people, I seem to encounter a large number of people who have advanced in their careers but for reasons that are beyond me, are so insecure and unhappy that they have to belittle and be spiteful to their subordinates and other colleagues. I don't think I'm particularly good-looking, but sometimes being ugly on the inside can make someone seem uglier on the outside.]